Overall Composition 7 The narration is good. I like how it clearly opens with the snowboarding season being well over. Then it switches to the freeboarder putting down his board on the pavement and getting ready to go. I think this hits the target audience pretty well, piquing the interest of snowboarders and probably appealing to regular skateboarders as well.
Visual Form 6 The visuals are pretty good quality. I like the use of black and white in some instances, but I think you could have made more use out of that. For instance, you could have had the opening portion with the ski lifts in just black and white, it would give it a more bleak look. I would have liked to see a little more variation in the action sequences. Not necessarily doing crazy tricks or anything that'll break your neck, but maybe just vary the locations where you shoot the clips. They seem to all be in the one subdivision and the show is about touring America as I understand it. While going to some exotic locals would be impractical for the scope of this project, you could have probably gotten some shots in the city or a park or even just a different subdivision. Also the shot where you're running from the camera seemed a little out of place.
Duration 5 The duration seems a little too slow in the beginning and too quick in the end. You could probably cut a bit off the scene where you see the ski lifts. You get the point with the one creaking and that's really all you need. It's more important to get to the point of the freeboarder pretty quickly I think. The text at the end seems a little too quick, just a bit. The "Freeboarder America" part is fine, but then the "50 states, 50 days, 1 tour" portion is too fast. I couldn't read them on first viewing so just hold them on the screen a little bit longer.
Motion 7 The motion is especially nice at the end where you have the graphic of the United States with the logo. Most of the shots with the skating action fit in well with the pace of the music. The only thing that could improve this is a little bit more variety.
Transition 8 The transitions are great I think. I like how you used the blocks of action in a kind of a grid to overlap your shots. It gives it the feel that the skaters been doing it longer and maybe traveling more which is very appropriate for the content. The transition into the United States and the final text is fantastic as I said before. The only thing I didn't like as much was the entry of the "Greg Gentry" - it sneaks on and off almost like it doesn't want to be noticed.
Hierarchy The images have the greatest hierarchy, followed by the music, then the text, then the sfx. The sfx are used well except for the wind sound in the opening shot. It just sounds too strong and a little low quality. The music matches up well with the action, however I think the song you chose is a little dour for the content. Find something happier or more energetic maybe? The text is good except for the duration as stated before.
Convention I don't know that this really breaks with convention in any ways, but I think it is successful because it sets up the clear narrative about ski and snowboarding season being over and this new, cool skateboard/snowboard hybrid coming onto the scene. It easy to understand and appeals to the right audience.
One other note, I did like the grid that you started to use. I think it would be nice to see that used more though.
1 comment:
Overall Composition
7
The narration is good. I like how it clearly opens with the snowboarding season being well over. Then it switches to the freeboarder putting down his board on the pavement and getting ready to go.
I think this hits the target audience pretty well, piquing the interest of snowboarders and probably appealing to regular skateboarders as well.
Visual Form
6
The visuals are pretty good quality. I like the use of black and white in some instances, but I think you could have made more use out of that. For instance, you could have had the opening portion with the ski lifts in just black and white, it would give it a more bleak look. I would have liked to see a little more variation in the action sequences. Not necessarily doing crazy tricks or anything that'll break your neck, but maybe just vary the locations where you shoot the clips. They seem to all be in the one subdivision and the show is about touring America as I understand it. While going to some exotic locals would be impractical for the scope of this project, you could have probably gotten some shots in the city or a park or even just a different subdivision. Also the shot where you're running from the camera seemed a little out of place.
Duration
5
The duration seems a little too slow in the beginning and too quick in the end. You could probably cut a bit off the scene where you see the ski lifts. You get the point with the one creaking and that's really all you need. It's more important to get to the point of the freeboarder pretty quickly I think. The text at the end seems a little too quick, just a bit. The "Freeboarder America" part is fine, but then the "50 states, 50 days, 1 tour" portion is too fast. I couldn't read them on first viewing so just hold them on the screen a little bit longer.
Motion
7
The motion is especially nice at the end where you have the graphic of the United States with the logo. Most of the shots with the skating action fit in well with the pace of the music. The only thing that could improve this is a little bit more variety.
Transition
8
The transitions are great I think. I like how you used the blocks of action in a kind of a grid to overlap your shots. It gives it the feel that the skaters been doing it longer and maybe traveling more which is very appropriate for the content. The transition into the United States and the final text is fantastic as I said before. The only thing I didn't like as much was the entry of the "Greg Gentry" - it sneaks on and off almost like it doesn't want to be noticed.
Hierarchy
The images have the greatest hierarchy, followed by the music, then the text, then the sfx. The sfx are used well except for the wind sound in the opening shot. It just sounds too strong and a little low quality. The music matches up well with the action, however I think the song you chose is a little dour for the content. Find something happier or more energetic maybe? The text is good except for the duration as stated before.
Convention
I don't know that this really breaks with convention in any ways, but I think it is successful because it sets up the clear narrative about ski and snowboarding season being over and this new, cool skateboard/snowboard hybrid coming onto the scene. It easy to understand and appeals to the right audience.
One other note, I did like the grid that you started to use. I think it would be nice to see that used more though.
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